Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I lost her

I lost my Dear Sweet Aunt today.  It doesn't feel like losing an Aunt she was my Mother in my heart.  My heart is breaking. She died on the operating table.  I am at a loss for words.  My eyes are swollen shut.

About two hours into the surgery her aorta tore and they could not repair it.  We spent a wonderful day together yesterday (Sunday_)  I cooked her favorite meal...chicken and dumplings, fresh peas, and apple crisp with vanilla ice cream over to Mobile and we ate and prayed together as a family.  It was a great day and i hugged her good bye twice.  The second time I kissed her. 

I told my Hubz on the way home I knew then, I would never be able to hug her again.  I don't know how I just knew.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, kind words and friendship.  Please continue to pray for me and my brothers, and my daughters we all need it more than you know.  We are all in a state of shock, disbelief and numb.  Maybe we have cried out.

I'll have my lap top with me on and off.  We are flying in family from California, Colorado, etc. etc. don't have any details about her service yet. Other than there will be lots of music.

Carol-the gardener.


  1. I am soooo sorry for your loss.

  2. Oh Carol, I am so sorry. I haven't been good at getting around and reading blogs lately, so I missed this. Please know you and your Aunt are in my thoughts and prayers. Sending you big hugs, my friend.

  3. I was praying for her, too. Like you, I had a feeling that it was going to go that way. I am so sorry. I will continue to pray for your family. I know that your Aunt will be okay. She has gone home and is with loved ones. It is hard for the people left behind, so know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know what this feels like. It hurts like crazy. My grandma semi-regularly comes and talks to me in dreams. I can tell that my other grandma comes around me while I am awake because her perfume will be around me out of the blue. I just stop what I am doing and breathe it in. It only lasts for a few seconds. I know it is her way of reassuring me that she is okay and looking out for me. As I said, they have moved on to a place that is pain-free and wonderful. They are not gone. In fact, they can clearly see what you are doing and will try to continue to support you from where they are. It just won't be in the same way. I don't know if that helps or not. Love you Carol. You will get through this. You are such a loving, strong person. ((Hugs))

  4. Good morning, Carol... I wish I knew what to say that might comfort you, but as always, I am at a loss for words at times like this. There is never a rhyme or reason for why things like this happen, other than it was just her time. I like Robin's comments... She will always be with you. There is a huge part of your Aunt that will ALWAYS be with you.

    I am so so sorry...



  5. Carol, I'm so so sorry for your loss!!! Remember that your Aunt is always in your heart forever. ♥