Showing posts with label prayers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayers. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I lost her

I lost my Dear Sweet Aunt today.  It doesn't feel like losing an Aunt she was my Mother in my heart.  My heart is breaking. She died on the operating table.  I am at a loss for words.  My eyes are swollen shut.

About two hours into the surgery her aorta tore and they could not repair it.  We spent a wonderful day together yesterday (Sunday_)  I cooked her favorite meal...chicken and dumplings, fresh peas, and apple crisp with vanilla ice cream over to Mobile and we ate and prayed together as a family.  It was a great day and i hugged her good bye twice.  The second time I kissed her. 

I told my Hubz on the way home I knew then, I would never be able to hug her again.  I don't know how I just knew.

Thank you everyone for your prayers, kind words and friendship.  Please continue to pray for me and my brothers, and my daughters we all need it more than you know.  We are all in a state of shock, disbelief and numb.  Maybe we have cried out.

I'll have my lap top with me on and off.  We are flying in family from California, Colorado, etc. etc. don't have any details about her service yet. Other than there will be lots of music.

Carol-the gardener.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Please say a prayer, or two or more

I have been blessed in this life.  I have an Aunt that I love like my Mother.  She is an inspiration to me.  She continues to teach me lessons.  There are people in this life that you love so much you can feel it in your heart.  She is one of these heart throbs for me.  She will undergo open heart surgery on Monday morning.  Monday is going to be a tough day.  She is weak, she has already suffered a heart attack and has two leaking valves that must be repaired to have quality of life. She will certainly kill me if she knows what I'm about to do here....tell her age...She is 80.  So all that factors in.



Tomorrow a heart surgeon will hold my Aunt's heart in his hands.  I wish he could know how much love her life brings so many people.

Quality of life. 

How is that for three words?

She has given me a quality of life I would have never known, had I not had her in my life.  I know I would not be the person I am today for three women in my life.  My Grandmother, My Aunt, My Sister.

So, please ...if you will...say a prayer for her.  Her name is Mildred.

I will never be ready, willing or able to say good bye to her in this lifetime.  I know this life is short and none of us know how long we have with ones we love.  That being said, I'm not ready.  I still need her.  Some people just make you who you are, their influence is just so great.  God give us strength to face whatever is ahead.  Hold her in your hands God.  Hold the surgeon in your hands. 

I wonder if I've done a good enough job in letting her know how very special she is to me.  I think I have.  I hope I can do more. I pray I have more time with her.  I'm going over tomorrow morning to see her.  I am cooking her favorite meal and taking it with me.  We will sit down together as a family and celebrate how fortunate we all are.  We will pray for mercy and healing.  I'll come back home try to sleep and then be back in Mobile on Monday morning to sit through what I know is going to so difficult for her to overcome.  I'll pray she will.  I'll hover over my brothers.  I'll be watchful especially of my little brother.  My niece (who is like a daughter to me) will be there too.  I'll try to be strong for her.  We are a family with a loved one we hold close.  She keeps the family strong and together,....she is our families glue.  We will pray for her and hope we have our angel a little longer.  We will strive to learn more from her.

Thank you everyone for listening.  I can't even type without crying.  I am that scared but I keep telling myself ....it is in God's hands.  But I'm only human.  I want everything and everyone to be fine.

Carol-the gardener

I might be out of the loop for a while until I am feeling all this has been resolved.  I'll try to post how she is feeling for those of you that are already praying for her.  Just so you will know.

Godspeed dear Blog friends.