Meet me on Monday

Well, it's that time again for Meet Me on Monday. I love these question answer things..you can learn so much.  Here goes...

Questions:


1. What is your favorite kind of potato chip? 

the Hubz and I really like the Cape Cod kettle cooked chips.  I think the flavor we like the most is Russet.  I don't buy chips like I used to when all the kids were home, but man these are tasty and very crunchy.  Yummy with a BLT!

2. Do you make your bed everyday?

Most every day.  My Grandmother taught us well about making the bed.  If the comforter didn't hang perfectly on each side, then you had to make it over and try again.  I thought when I was growing up that was ridiculous.  I get it now.  Thank you Memommie for always teaching me to give my best.

3. How often do you go to the hair salon?

I too have highlights, so about every six weeks or so.  Fall is coming so I go a little darker.  I tried to go without highlights once, I thought my middle son would disown me.  I think he said I looked "creepy".  My stylist is also one of my best friends in the entire world.  He has taught me so much about life and not judging people...I always feel better just being with him.  An appointment usually turns into the afternoon.  I love you Todd!

4. What do you dip your French fries in?

Hmm...normally, nothing.  I make oven fries with rosemary or cumin so they are just so tasty I don't like covering that yumminess up.  Wanna try some? You will never fry again! Cut a baking potato into wedges, at least 8 if not more.  Put in large bowl.  Drizzle the potato wedges with extra virgin olive oil.  Now flavor them up.  Rosemary, garlic, a little cumin...grill seasoning...it's all up to you.  Now pop them in a preheated oven ...the hotter the better.  Tip*** I line my pan with Reynolds No Stick Foil.  Easy clean up.

 I could not live without this stuff.  It makes life so much easier.  Now bake until they begin to brown and turn them once.  It is important not to crowd them on the sheet pan.  They will brown beautifully and be golden, crispy and not too bad for you either.  If you want sprinkle with cheese of your choice.  Who doesn't love cheese right?  Parmesan, or blue cheese crumbles or good ole cheddar.  Maybe some fresh chives from the garden.....life is good again.  Enjoy.

5 Do you shop with coupons?

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Sometimes.  Not as much as I should. When I am feeling good and functioning well...I have it all together and shop with coupons and sale items.  You can really save.  I haven't been that good in months.  I grab one or two here and there.  I really should try harder.

Hey, bonus point...go to http://www.reynoldsnostick.com/ and get a coupon for your first roll of no stick foil.  It will change your life.  Don't forget who told you!  If you purchase some or try the oven fry recipe...please let me know.
 
Thank you Java for hosting.  I look forward to see every one's answers.  Have a great week!
 
Carol
 
 

Let Me Clarify Something.

Yesterday.... I posted some answers to 8 deep questions sent to me by my friend Robin.  After reading the comments I feel convicted to clarify something....

When I began blogging a few months ago...I had no idea if I would like it, how difficult it would be or if any one other than my children would ever read what I wrote.  Now, think I could have done something differently.  I see so many clever blog names.  Is it really all in the name?

In retrospect maybe I didn't choose the best title for my blog. I do love to garden, that much is true.  I am defintley a nurturer.  I think I am the gardener in many ways.  I love to see things grow, change, mature.  Sometimes it is plants and I have shared some stories here about my love for gardening and how it is woven through my history, my family and memories.  Sometimes, it is children that you are like a gardener, cultivating love and understanding.  Sometimes it is relationships.  You have to constantly tend to your relationships in order for them to grow.

I do see, however, how my blog name could confuse people.  I'm new so I'm not sure if I can change it or if I should change it.  Do you think I should?  I don't want to sound like I am misrepresenting myself.  On the other hand after reading some other blog names....geeze!  Not naming any names ...I'm just sayin.

It is so hot here in Florida I will admit my gardening is being in done indoors under the AC lately.  It will be getting cooler soon...I hope and pray....and I'll return to the garden. I plan to offer some tips and things I've learned and even some recipes.  I grow herbs and they offer so much exciting flavor!  Sorry, I get off track easily.

So many times when I'm out in the garden doing "my thing" I find myself humming an old hymn I heard my Memommie (Grandmother) sing so many times growing up.  It pretty much sums up how I feel in the garden. 



I come to the garden alone


While the dew is still on the roses

And the voice I hear falling on my ear

The Son of God discloses.


And He walks with me, and He talks with me,

And He tells me I am His own;

And the joy we share as we tarry there,

None other has ever known.



He speaks, and the sound of His voice,

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing,

And the melody that He gave to me

Within my heart is ringing.



I’d stay in the garden with Him

Though the night around me be falling,

But He bids me go; through the voice of woe

His voice to me is calling.


And the joy we share as we tarry there....none other has ever known.

Eight (8) Deep Questions

OK, so, my friend Robin at http://yourdailydose-robin.blogspot.com/  tagged me today on these 8 questions. These really made me think.  Nothing like opening up your core beliefs to the world.  Not quite like sharing an image is it? 


1. We all dance with the seven sins from time to time. Which of the seven sins do you dance with most frequently, and why? They are wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.

My Dad used to say, "People either have their Price or their Pride."  So, I guess with that being said I would have to say pride.  I do live by my set beliefs and try my best to live the best life I can each day.  I don't mean in a Prideful haughty way...just true.  Second would have to be sloth.  I have days that I just don't get a whole heck of a lot done.  I want to..mentally...but just can't bring myself to do it.  This drives me crazy!  Before my accident (car) I was such a, "get it done" person.  Now, I just can't bring my self to do it.  I told my doctor one day that my brain writes checks my body just can't cash.  And that pretty much sums up how I feel.  Mental hell sometimes.

2. If you could live for a week in the body of someone famous, who would it be? You would still be you, but you could access their need to know info as you needed to know it. Of course, the kicker is that they would live in your body and have the same privileges

OK, this one is easy for me...I'd have to choose Oprah.  I mean, I could hire anyone for entertainment, fly anywhere I wanted to....most of her friends, I like...who wouldn't want to hang out with Bono or Nate?  Stedman isn't bad looking and Gayle is funny.  She enjoys a good meal..as I do.  Loves a good bath...as I do and she is a very smart woman.  She has a spiritual side to her which is important to me, I wouldn't want to live as someone who didn't. For the most part, I believe she is healthy and well and that would be a hallelujah moment for me right there.  How bad could being Oprah be for a week, really? 

3. Do you believe that angels walk among us? That there are true psychics, mediums, or anyone who is more connected to God than the average person?


I do think angels walk among us. I know they do.  I've had an experience in my life I am sure angels were present.  Maybe one day I'll share.  I think some people have psychic gifts that are no doubt from a higher power, some from God and some from other powers but I don't feel they are anymore closer to God than the average person, they have just been given that particular gift.  My husband swears I have ESP...now I'm wondering.  I can have something or someone pressing on my mind and usually within 48 hours it will show itself.  I have written about this some in the past.  Blessing and curse.

4) Have you ever dreamt about a future event that happened, a past event that happened when you were but a very young child, or anything that was just so real, but otherworldly, that you felt its truth in your soul? If so, I'm listening.
 
Yes, I have, although the dreams are jumbled up together.  They skip from past to present to future all during one dream.  I have very emotional dreams.  Just this morning I woke up crying.  My Dad, his spirit,  has visited me in my dreams several times since he passed away 28 years ago.  I can't explain it to you except to say I know it is him, and isn't a memory it is a visit.  He usually is checking in on me to see if I'm alright and doesn't stay too long.  The first time he was reassuring me he was OK.  Now, I know some people will not believe this but it is true.

5) Do you feel like you have a gift that you aren't using? It could be for anything. Design, writing, art, photography, decoration. The list is endless.

Oh yes!  I paint in oils.  I took private art lessons all my life and I do love it.  However, right now I'm in so much pain I'm literally typing to you in a robe.  So many days I don't feel like getting the canvas out, the paints or the brushes.  However, I have all these images in my head for beautiful paintings.  I see things as if they are paintings, they should be a painting.  Most days I feel guilty and hope that one day I will wake with the strength to press on.

6) Is there someone that you are unwilling to forgive? Is it weighing on your heart? Eating you up on the inside? This is a yes or no. If it is yes, I hope you make the choice today to want to forgive and then let it go. Throw out your desire into the universe.

I can't forgive my oldest son.  He has a son who is twelve, yet he has not been part of his life.  I sacrificed so much to bring up my children to always stick with family and gave up dreams to be there for my children.  Worked jobs I never thought I would, much less love or like the job, to support them.  It hurts me to see my Grandson have so many questions about his Dad.  I wondered for years where I failed, now I have come to terms with the fact I didn't fail...he did.  He has chosen the life he is leading and it is very very sad for me.  I miss the son I had.  I've tried to find him but he is no longer there.  I can't forgive him because I know how it has hurt my Grandson.  Everyone has choices in life.  I had hoped he would make better ones. I continue to  hope and pray for a miracle so that both of them can be happy.

7) If we were able to take away or add one element into the heart of each and every man, which one would be the one that would make the most difference in making this world a better place to live?

Compassion.  Most people in general are just not compassionate anymore.  I feel most people are very selfish and I'm just sick of it.  If we all just thought to ourselves, maybe this person has their own set of problems...the world would be better off.  Seriously...I'm just sayin.

8) What is the last movie you saw at the movie theatre? Using the five star system, how would you rate it?

Twilight..the Eclipse.  I saw this because my oldest Grandson was just dying for me to see it.  He was here with us for a month so we just had to rent the other two to catch ole' MeMe up and then we were off to the movies.  I loved so much he wanted to do this with me..I didn't have the heart to be honest with him. I said for his benefit of wanting to connect with me on his level it was good....What I really thought was .... how long can this ridiculous crap last!  I wouldn't give it a star.  Yeah, that bad.

So, I hope I did OK.  Thanks for thinking of me Robin.  I absolutely loved your Thursday here's to you.  I'm new to this whole blogging thing but I am beginning to see how kindred souls find each other.  I haven't been doing this long enough to know any of you very well so I just chose some blogs I read each time you post.

So, if I understand how this goes...I am to find eight people and eight questions of my own.  So here goes....

1.  What do you think was the most important lesson your parents taught you?

2.  Do you think you can be in love with more than one person?

3.  What  is your favorite kind of music?  Who is your favorite singer?

4.  What is your favorite memory of your Grandparents?

5.  If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be and why?

6.  What is your favorite color?

7.  Why did you start blogging?

8.  What is your favorite meal?

So...tag you all are it!!!!!

http://nevergrowingold.blogspot.com/
http://weezershaven.blogspot.com/
http://donnashouseonthecorner.blogspot.com/
http://www.texasgritsandglam.blogspot.com/
http://justabeachkat.blogspot.com/
http://laundryhurtsmyfeelings.blogspot.com/
http://47andstartingover.blogspot.com/
http://www.imasouthernmomma.com/



Hope you all have a great weekend.  Godspeed.

Follow me on Friday

Follow along.

James Taylor is Stuck in my head!

OK, as I have mentioned before...I love music. If it's true you can do in heaven, what you could not do on earth...I hope it's true...I want to sing.

Sometimes, more often than not, music gets stuck in my head. Tunes and lyrics just pop up and the next thing you know I sing them for days. Music is therapy for me. It can change my attitude, it can take me back to wonderful memories or put my body in motion to dance. Pretty cool just the click of the trusty ipod and you are off...to another place, another time.

Lately this one song has been stuck in my head. Stuck for days! I love all James Taylor and loved the music he and Carly made together. You just can't think of him and not think of Carole King. Beautiful music, beautiful words. Maybe you've heard it.


Sometimes when I'm really exhausted, or feeling low...I ask the Hubz just to talk to me. He could read the phone book and that would be OK. I love to just listen to his voice. He has the power to go where no one else can find me and to silently remind me of the happiness and good times that we know. Gotta just love the lyrics.  Yesterday, I was telling my niece this song was just stuck in my head.  Next thing you know we are singing together.  Good times.

Anyway enjoy and let me know....what changes your outlook on life? What are you listening to?
 Remember to turn off the playlist below.

Time Flies when you are a MeMe

I used to hate when adults around me would say, "Time sure does fly!"  How could that be?  Time flying...it took forever for Saturday cartoons to come around once a week....or so I thought.

My little grandson, Mr. Pistol Britches started Kindergarten today. The one thing is really looking forward to is...riding the school bus.  Let's all see how long this will last. He is the most intelligent 5 year old child I have ever been around.  (Prejudice much?  MeMe talking here!)  He really needs to skip it and go straight to 1st grade.  He can read, now be it, things he is interested in like ...toy boxes, some of his favorite books, the Direct TV guide, any menu within a 100 mile radius...but the kid reads anyway.  I doubt many children in his class can read.  He wants to go just to ride the bus and play on the playground, make some friends, and find out what music class is like.

I wonder if the teacher has any idea of what she is getting exactly.  One can only wonder why I have named him Mr. Pistol Britches.  Those of you from the South will no doubt understand.  He loves to tell jokes, scare me, and be in the middle of any one's business.  Makes him all the more interesting to be around...there is never a dull moment.

Here he(Mr. Pistol Britches) is digging his own pool to have feet away from the Gulf of Mexico. 
 

I was answering Java's questions this morning on the Meet me on Mondays, (thank you Java)when the first question made me think of the day I was told he was coming into our lives.  My daughter and son in law bought a dozen doughnuts and brought them by to us.  Written inside the box top was the news of Mr. PB arrival.  Oh my!  Was I thrilled  or what?  I insisted on moving immediately to be closer to her ...after all I was 30 minutes away...cruel right?  Well, we did and now we are maybe 5 minutes apart.

That little boy has brought so much joy to my life.  He keeps his own pile of toys here at our home and knows when anything is moved.  He has his own shelf in the pantry with all his "Snacky Poos".  He is so affectionate too.  He will say," Meemze come over here and let's just love for a while."  Sometimes he will ask, "hey what do you want to talk about?"  I have lots to talk about is his reply.   So, we ask and answer questions until he is happy.  Sometimes it takes quite a while.  He thinks about so many things and ideas.  But eventually he gets the answers that satisfy him and then he announces he doesn't want to talk about it anymore. 

 I wonder what my life would be/would have been without him?  Don't get me wrong...I love being a Mom, but this Meme stuff is fantastic!  It is like being a Mom on vacation, you know?  He is a force.  I miss him if I don't see or talk to him every few days I can be OK with a week, but really don't like to wait a week.  Seems as if everyone is encouraging him to do big boy things, act like a big boy.  Not me.  It's OK with me for him to stay little for a while.  Fine by me.

Life the way MeMe sees it:

No laundry that has to be done today...not 10 loads anyway.  No dinner that has to be cooked, we can color or swim instead.  We can eat cereal!  No meetings or practices to run around too, we can plant a garden together.  No shopping that important...we can read a book instead.  I get to take all the time I wish I had with my children..but life moved so fast then.  There was always so much to be done, and such little time.  Some one was always, ALWAYS, hungry.  Something always needed cleaning and so on.  Truth is... I was in a hurry.  I thought I had time...I should have taken the time.  Their is a difference.

Now I realize nothing is more precious to me as my family.  They are the reason I am.  I had a cross stitch in my babies nursery that read:

I wish I could have read between the lines.  Mothers lives are just too busy.  You turn around and it's over.  Your babies have babies of their own.

OK, so time does fly...he is off to school and he will be on a schedule now for the next 18 plus years.  He will have homework, and baseball and eventually girls.  Maybe my Son and his wife will have another soon...but in the meantime I guess I need to volunteer to be a Teacher's helper. Moms just think about it..slow down when you can, enjoy your children while they are young.  Afterall they are getting  older with each passing minute.

Meet me on Monday

Questions:




1. What is your favorite kind of doughnut?

Key Lime.  We only have Key Lime during the summer, and they are found at Krispy Kreme.  Big thing in the South.  My daughter brought me a box of doughnuts one time, and written in the inside of the box top was a note telling me I was going to be a MeMe again soon!  My favorite box of doughnuts ever!

2. How often do you pray?

That's hard.  All the time.  I whisper quiet short prayers throughout the day...and give it a good..like you should prayer at night or sometimes mornings when I'm alone or things are quiet.  Here lately, I've been praying a lot with my hand on my husband.

3. What is your favorite kind of music?

Now, that, is harder..I love all kinds of music.  It is like comparing children....can't do it!  Allthough...I do so love accoustic music.  Something about it is so soul filling and comforting.

4. What do you order when you eat Chinese food?

Egg roll or spring roll.  I love the crispy exterior and the yummy filling.  Especially if it has shrimp in it, one of my favorites.  Plus, I like finger foods.

5. Would you rather snowboard in the winter or swim in the summer?
 
Swim in the summer hands down.  I'm from Florida...born and bred.  I love to look at snow, I love cool weather but snowboarding ....nah, I'm good.  Too old and too many medical problems to try this sport now.  But swimming, I absolutely love.

I'm forunate to only live 30 minutes from the beach and we go there as much as we can.  Late in the summer, like now, you have to go about 4 in the evening or it is just too stinkin hot.  Love the pool too and we have creeks here clear as can be, so we like to go tubing as well.  iF you live in Florida you pretty much have to learn to love water.

 

Have a great week everyone.  Meet ya back here again on Monday!!!

Yummy Bruschetta

Ok, I'm convinced. I could live on Bruschetta. I'm thinking it could be the worlds most perfect food. All the different yummy toppings. I love all kinds of vegetables. You just grill those babies up and toss with some fresh herbs and extra virgin olive oil and happy times are ahead. Think of the possiblities....they are endless. Eggplant with feta and black Kalamata olives. Tomatoes fresh off the vine, aromatic basil and creamy mozzarella cheese.

I love it with veggies, I love it with cheese, maybe a little meat once in a while. How could I turn down fresh mushrooms with a little smokey bacaon mixed in? A little parmesean nd I'm a really happy girl. A little grilled steak, slice it thin, arugula and top it off with some Gorganzola cheese and heaven is but a bite away. Grilled chicken with spinach add a splash of balsamic syrup.    

But wait...I'm a Southern girl! How about a slice of cornbread topped with roasted squash? Or maybe collard greens cooked with some ham? A smathering of a mixed medely of butterbeans and peas. Yep! I think that quailifies.

Now dessert. How about a slice of pound cake with a little marscapone cheese and fresh peaches or strawberries? Or a cookie topped with Nutella spread, sprikle with chopped hazelnuts? Cinnamon bread with cream cheese, thinly sliced apples and a bit of caramel with thinly sliced cheddar cheese.

Now, I've worked it all out. I know I could live on Bruschetta. What do you think?

Sticks and Stones will break your Bones ..but Words Hurt

OK, no news flash here, I'm new to the Blogging World. From what I've experienced so far, it is really a nice hobby to have. I understand it this way...Blogger A might choose to write about what a terrible couple of days she has had and how this makes her feel. She will let us see into her life, feel her emotions. If you have experienced something like this before you may feel a certain connection with blogger A and choose to follow her and follow up with a kind comment to let her know you are on her side. Now, if you really don't relate...for whatever reason ..you just move on...there are plenty of blogs out there to choose from find the one that suits you and you feel a sisterhood with. No one is hurt. It's like walking past a guy at a dance and dancing with another partner, no need to feel hurt. But again, no words spoken.

I have been visiting many different sites since joining the Southern Mommas..reading over what many have to say...some make me laugh out loud because i know that only a true Southern Gal would every speak that, write that let alone understand it. Some blogger are sharing recipes, some share style or make up tips. Some love to talk about their new babies they are so proud of. Some are planning weddings. Even a few talk about meaningful stuff like marriage or the struggle after losing someone close to you.

I stop in and read a few lines. Daddy always said I was a good judge of character. And right away I know if this blog relationship would work. If the person has given me a good feeling I sign up to be a follower..or to follow their blog. If I read something that for any reason don't like the way it sounds or "oh gosh could I be a true supporter of this blog?" if that question enters my mind I pass and come back another time to see if maybe it was a bad day and if things are better and I like what I see and read..if I get a feeling of honesty then...it's all good.

Most of these blogs I am now following are just really nice people saying, Hey computer bloggers..this is what's going on today in my world..if you would like to stop and read and if you choose to join, great! If not, keep on cruising. You will find someone out there who feels like you about things. They aren't trying to sell you anything,charge you a sign up fee, or even asking for your negative comments.


But after reading a few comments left on different blogs I am now following. I'm confused..upset really. It appears their is something I just don't get. Why on God's Green earth,would SOMEONE write the blogger a mean or mean spirited comment?

This is not middle school where if you write something I can write something on that note saying bad things about you until it is found by the teacher and read to all our horror...aloud. There it is it is out in the open now. And you feel embarased; you can't stand it and want out of the class, because someone was a bully.

I mean imagine..someone...woke up got a cup of coffee opened up there laptop and typed what they wanted to share with the world today mabye lovely pictures, or make up tips. All the bloggers I've come into contac twith have been most gracious, returning the favor via sweet comments or letting me know they are now too following me as an act of kindness.

So who are these big bad blue meanies that sit at their lap top, with a cup of coffee, trying to find something to pick apart and then come back with a nasty, unflattering comment? Mean comments to this person who has simply told us a story that could have been prceious memories of her/his Grandfather, could be new pictures of the great little gift God has given them, could be a burned 47 year old divorce mom who is trying to see if there is life indeed at the end of the tunnel. That's just something I don't think I want to understand... mean, rude, no taste, people!

Bloggers aren't here to have their English judged..hey I'm not a writer, never hope to be a writer. They are just expressing themselves. Some are more like storytellers, some are teachers, some are witty and make you see things differently. Maybe even a laugh. It is America and we are all free to express ourselves how we see fit. But do we have to hurt others to do it? Why can't you just keep looking for a blog where everyone criticizes spelling or composure whatever you love to criticize and join it. Maybe that would make you think you could be happy. Start a critical blog where everyone can criticize each other....no there is an idea!

I think this Blog land is cool, for the parts i've joined so far. All my followers encourage me to keep writing. I just wanted to do this so if anything happend to me my kids could read these blogs..because the words are from my heart..I think about them..I make sure they are real and I would be proud for them to be read whenever.

Can the big blue blog meanies say the same? Would your children or grandchildren be proud to read how you crushed someone's ideas, put a damper on their story, just because you could. Maybe you've been succesfull enough to make some quit. Who knows?

My parents raised me with different strokes for different folks. I paint and while some of my paintings are pretty nice, some take a special kind of owner, if you don't like one of my paintings keep looking you will find your group.

As my Momma used to say,"If you can't say sumthin nice, just don't say it at all." She aslo used to say, "for every person willing to tear you down there are twice that many ready willing and able to lift you up." I think that goes for writing comments too. If you are hired by a publishing compnay, that is entirely different. Let's just all be kind to each other and have fun. Can't we all get along? Or blog on different parts of the blog world?

Meet me on Monday

Questions:

1. What is your favorite dessert?
2. What do you wear to bed?
3. Do you get regular manicures/pedicures?
4. Did you play any sports in high school?
5. Do you have an iPod

My answers:

1. What is your favorite dessert?

Tiramisu...has to be the answer. I have got to learn to make this. I mean who has a favorite dessert they can't even make? That's not right. Another thing on the To Do list!

2. What do you wear to bed?

I love night clothes. Any kind of night clothes! I love pajamas, boxer short sets, and any kind of night gown! Cotton ones are my favorite for summer, but love my silk Victoria's PJ's in the fall and winter.

3. Do you get regular manicures/pedicures?

Only the ones I do myself. Otherwise maybe a couple of pedicures throughout the summer. Never, hardly ever on manicures, I rather do that myself.

4. Did you play sports in high school?

NO! I hate sports. Sports of any kind. I'm a girly girl, I don't like sweating or running or dirt. Well, I do like dirt, if your are planting something.

5. Do you have an iPod?

YES!!! I love my iPod shuffle now I would really really love to have an iPod touch! I love me some music. All kinds of music!!! Music can change you mood in minutes.

That's my story and I'm stickin to it!

Rainy days and Mondays.

The song lyrics are Rainy days and Mondays always get me down...but that isn't true, for me anyway. I love a good rainy day. Especially when that rainy day is also a Sunday. Something just too cool about hearing the sound of the rain on the roof in the morning. Makes the sheets feel a little cooler in the summer heat. Makes you want to snuggle up and sleep an extra little while.

I love to cook. I really love to cook on a rainy day. Something comforting about a big roast, or pot of soup, or a cake in the oven. Only thing that tops a rainy day for cooking is a cold rainy day. I'll have to wait a while on the cold, but rainy I got!

The Hubz has his Cardiac stress test scheduled in the morning (Monday). So what do I do today? Bake him a cake! I know, I know, not the best thing to do..but he really wanted one and i just can't seem to ever be able to say no to him. So the smell of vanilla is wafting through the house. I hear the tap tap tapping of the rain on the window pane. Bringing back sweet memories!

I love a rainy night!

Just What We Do...In the South

This past week has been a roller coaster. My neighbor's nephew passed away suddenly and my husband has found out that apparently there is something wrong with his heart. A blog friend, whom I really admired, Lisa, also passed away suddenly on the same day.

I've been spoiling my husband and that is all I really know to do for him. For Lisa, I chose a few words, posted a special blog dedicated to her and what she meant to me as a friend, I even found the music I had been searching for. I hope her family will see it. She lived in another state so carrying a cake was out of the question.

Now when someone passes away in the South, and you attend church with them or they are your neighbors, or close to your "Momma and them" forever...you cook. We take food. That is just how it goes. Now if you are lucky, your Grandmother or (my "Memommie") taught you right, and you have her example to follow. If so you know being a Southern Belle you should a/join in with the church family as to what is going to be prepared and when and by whom. b/Never cross certain lines here.

Delivery is important also. My Memommie always used her best dishes too, china and crystal with Silver spoons to serve. On the bottom of the bowls there was a thin piece of tape with her name glued or taped on so that the item could be returned within the appropriate passing of time of course. It isn't lady or christian like to nag people about dishes and they (the family) should truly return them with a thank you note. That is how I was taught.

I am so fortunate to have a few of these pieces. I can tell by how warn the tape is or how well it has stuck on over the years, it is old. They don't make tape like that anymore. In her best handwriting will be her last name only. That way there was no room for error or confusion.

Certain dishes were prepared over and over again and some of my Memom's friends were kinda famous for those dishes. One lady always made Lasagna, and if need be she would fry chicken too. While one was famous for her Chicken Salad. One lady made Chicken and Dumplings no matter what. My Memommie always made Potato Salad and Banana Pudding or a pound cake. Now if it were in the fall of the year she still made potato salad but would change dessert to Apple cobbler or Pie. My Mother usually opted to cook a vegetable fearing people never eat enough vegetables in stressful/sad times. But my Memom, she always said people needed great food to comfort them at these uncertain and upsetting times. If she made a cake it was beautifully decorated with icing or nuts and maybe fruits if in summer time. Always place on one of her better cake servers with a doily underneath. She felt if it looked really appetizing maybe they would be more inclined to take a bite or another bite. Even if it was a salad it too was given special attention to top it off just right with the julienne slices of red peppers swirled about and pickles sliced just so dotted among the peppers, smoked paprika sprinkled on for color and taste. But don't get me wrong a Honey Baked Ham is never a bad idea. Just have to put that out there for the record. Just don't purchase the sides, make them for goodness sake.

So tonight I made her recipe for Cream Cheese Pound Cake, polished the Cake pedestal and server. In the morning I'll finish a pasta salad and bread and take over to my friends home, who is also my neighbor. The Cake has been dusted with confectioners sugar and lemon zest and fresh mint picked from the garden. The fresh whipped cream will be done last and maybe I'll find some berries to serve with it. I could almost hear my Memom coaching me saying, "that will look real nice there, now don't over do it. It will bring them comfort along with your card with the right verses tucked inside."

Tomorrow I'll carry them over and hope they will know they are prepared with love and sympathy for them. I do love them all and would do anything to lessen the pain they all feel.

I'll be remembering who taught me this was the right thing to do. My Memommie's Sunday School class. Those women could come to your home in stealth mode, deliver food, clean and organize, make another pot of coffee in case anyone else were to stop by and they were like Santa's elves you never knew it and they had the next day planned too. Thank you God for giving me such a good roll model.

This is just how we do it in the South, we feed you till you feel better. I think today, people send flowers, or maybe an e mail or e card. Maybe sign a guestbook online, it's less personal and no one likes to deal with loss.

It's up to us Southern Ladies that are left to teach our children this is how it is to be done. You show up in person for those you love and treat them like they are very special because they are. Who knows I might think of something else too.

Bumpkin On a Swing - Close Your Eyes

You can sing this song when I'm gone....we're gonna have a good time, no one is gonna take that time away, you can stay as long as you like. You can close your eyes, it's alright. I don't know no love song, and I can't sing the blues anymore..
but you can sing this song when I'm gone.....

Rest in peace Lisa.

through words

I met you through words. Words written by pressing computer keys. Words thought through in our minds. Words rehearsed before they were spoken.

I got to know you through songs. Songs you chose then posted becuase they meant so much to you. Songs I loved too. We shared the love of the ocean. We were sad and concerned together over the oil that spilled over our shores.

I lost you through words. Words written by Trish pressing the computer keys. So sad never to have seen your picture or heard your voice.

I was happy that I did know you but for a short while if only through words and song and love of the ocean. I'll miss your words and your songs. I hope I always remember how you can change by knowing someone if only for a short while.

Rest in peace Lisa. I hope your garden blooms constantly in heaven, and the turtles and dolphins swim for you to enjoy.

Godspeed.

I Need a Break

OK, I'll warn you now. This isn't going to be a post that leaves you smiling and filled with a happy heart. It isn't a warm and fuzzy. So read at your own risk.

My head hurts. I feel like going outside someplace in total seclusion and screaming until I literally pass out. My stomach hurts and I can't sleep. My emotions are on overload and I can't cry. My husband will see and then that isn't fair to him. I always hear him telling me, "baby, no one said life is fair." But I am one of those people who believe if you are a kind hearted, God fearing, good person you will prevail. I have always been so convinced about life being fair. I have always tried to be a fair player. Well, that isn't always possible or true. Hell, it is never possible. I am in need of some type of release, in a big way. I'm unravelling.

I even feel selfish for writing this blog. If the situation were reversed he wouldn't need to write a blog. He would keep his feelings to himself, possibly shed a tear in total privacy and keep going. He is the stronger of the two of us. He holds me,comforts me gives me security and makes me feel safe so unselfishly, so freely when I need it. I want to be able to hold him, give him comfort, be the strong one this time. I'm trying. I wish it were me with the heart problems, he could go on without me much easier, he is strong, independent. Me, not so much, I'd be a wreck. Who are we fooling..I am a wreck.

I feel like a tornado has swept me up and I am spinning hopelessly into the land of Oz. But Oz has changed. No munchkins singing songs, or yellow brick roads. Hospitals with red lines painted down the hallways. Nurses who resent answering a non medical person who doesn't know how to correctly phrase a question or God forbid you should even ask it. I want to tap my heels three times and go back home where we both are safe.

My husband has been having problems with his heart. Now it is just showing up in various medical test. His body is saying ENOUGH! He works in a very high stress position each day. As a bonus point his heart has been hurt and broken for so long it is making him sick. No matter how much you love someone you just can't get inside them and love them enough to take the pain away, fix it all and I am so mad about that.

I am so frustrated that your children stop listening to their parents, thinking instead they will do it their way. The love to say, "I got it",or this is my life" to us. They don't understand you can't turn the switch off on being a parent. It is always there... it just changes. Sometimes I swear I can feel the daggers go through and then ever so often they are twisted. Then, you remember... yes, they are still there and hurt even a little more now. You never want to see your children hurt, you feel helpless. You care for them for so many years then you are expected to cut the cord, let them grow up, make their own mistakes, watch them fall flat on their face. Easier said then done. It takes it toll in a big way.

My Husband, he is a quiet man. A man of great patience and understanding. He holds everything in, always thinking before he speaks. I used to think after I spoke, he has helped me with that. I want to help him but for the life of me I have nothing else to give, no cards left un played, no words left unsaid. Sadly, I am out of ideas, possible solutions even prayers. I am spent. I know he needs me and I feel useless, as if I'm failing him. I can't seem to pull myself together. That makes me feel inadequate.

God, I need your help.

Children are a blessing this I know for sure. Nothing can break your heart like your child hurting. It doesn't matter if they chose the situation, were put there or it just is what it is. To see your child hurt, unhappy, confused is a parents worse most painful place to be in. You are helpless. For years we have tried our best to give them more than we had. Make them happy. Give them the world. Only wanting in return to see smiles, happiness and the reward of grandchildren to love and spoil. Birthday parties to attend, graduations, ball games and maybe even a wedding or two. Family vacations filled with giggles and laughter. We want to build memories for them.

To have the opportunity to travel, see places in the world we were too busy while raising 4 children to go to earlier in life. Endless days of walking on the beach, collecting shells, fishing and searching for that little cabin we both want. Riding a motorcycle on a beautiful sunny day with the fall colors and smells all around us both. Stopping when we want and bunches of hugs and kisses. That's all we want yet from life. One day everything is fine. In a matter of an hour, one phone call and it can all be gone. Your entire future flashing in front of your eyes. Everything, everyone you hold precious swirling about you in this weird tornado.

You have to have faith in life. I know both of us do have faith. We have seen situations and circumstances change through the years. We have had long talks about how we would have never foreseen the outcome or things "turn out" like this or that way years ago. God has shown us many times he has "got this". There is always hope. But, we are so tired. Exhausted is the word. On top of this, my psychiatrist retired. Now I tell you that is a bummer. But on the other hand, their is noting he can do, only listen. I am tired of listening to my own thoughts. Kind of unfair to expect someone else to want to listen when you don't want to listen yourself.

I have been the happiest I have been in years in the past few weeks, and the most disturbed and scared I have been in my life in the past few days. I'm too old for this. When you are my age you seek peace. Where are you peace? Why can't I seem to keep you near? I have learned life is about ups and downs and no one is blissfully happy everyday. I've learned to ride the rollacoaster, fine. It is the ride ending that I fear.

In my lifetime I've loved and been hurt. Now I love so much it hurts. Love just hurts. Giving your heart to someone is a sacred thing. Just seeing my husband in the Emergency Room made my knees buckle. He is my weak spot. He always has been. He always will be. We finish each other's sentences. We can sit together in a swing and say nothing, but everything by the touch of our hands. This didn't happen overnight. It has been 18 years of tending the garden of marriage.

In the past few weeks I've seen the joy in my grand children's eyes to have both of us listen to what they have to say, woo over every word or expression they make. They know we are here for them. I couldn't do all that without him. He has so much patience with the grandchildren and me too. I want a long life with him, I'm willing to do my part I don't want my grandchildren growing up not knowing him. My Dad left way too quick. I still need him now, but he was taken from us. Please God don't take my Hubs too.

I lost my Dad of a heart attack on August 5, 1982 and here I am in 2010, 28 years later scared to death I'll lose my husband. Come on life ...give me a break. Karma smile on me. Mother Nature give me a headwind. I really really need a break...before I break.